Bit of Ivory

I’ve decided I must be channeling Teri.
First, I became unusually clumsy. Now, I’m getting stupid, unhelpful
comments on my writing.
Something very strange is going on here.
So just as Teri had to rant about her writing woes, so must I.
My Agronomy and Horticulture 100 TA has absolutely no idea what she’s
talking about.
I got an essay back that I wrote at the end of September. It had my
coolest title ever: “Biotech Crops: Boon or Bane?” The TA went on and
on before we turned in our papers about the necessity of writing well,
on a college level, with no glaring grammar mistakes, etc. Now, I’m a
senior majoring in English. I graduate in April. This is a 100-level biology
course. I can write 2-2 1/2 page papers in my sleep. So, I
figured, no sweat.
My paper has so many red marks on it, you almost can’t tell that it was
once white.
Supposedly, she “graded easy,” because it was our first paper,
and the teacher “made her” be lenient. So while my paper is almost
completely red, I got full credit. What worries me is that she soon
will be taking points off for my “mistakes.” Which, of course
aren’t mistakes at all. Example:
Original sentence: “Scientists and salesmen promise higher
yields, reduced dependence on herbicides and pesticides, and increased
profits; while environmentalists and organic farmers complain of
contamination, reduced profits and the loss of biological diversity.”
Her corrections: “Scientists and salesmen promise higher yields,
reduced dependence on herbicides and pesticides, and increased profits.
Environmentalists and organic farmers complain of contamination,
reduced profits and the loss of biological diversity.”
Excuse me? Ever heard of parallel structure? Seems to me that
it reads better my way. In fact, now that I look at it, if I were to go
back and revise this sentence, I would do it this way:
“Scientists and salesmen promise higher yields, reduced dependence on
chemical agents, and increased profits; while enviromentalists and
organic farmers complain of contamination, the loss the biological
diversity, and reduced profits.”
That makes it fully parallel. But really, what was wrong with the
semicolon? Do you have something against semicolons? Do they offend
you? I’ve always been taught that the correct use of semicolons was a
sign of polished writing. But then, what do I know? Apparently nothing.
My paper’s just full of stuff like that. The one that really irks me is
this:
Original Sentence: “There is also evidence that insects are
rapidly developing an immunity to the toxins in biotech foods, making
them unusable in the long term.”
She circled “them”, and wrote “the subject is insects.” Okay, explain
this to me. Even assuming that the subject of my sentence is “insects”,
which it’s not (it’s “there”, which makes this sentence existential;
but I won’t diagram it for you, even though I can), why does “them”
have to refer to the subject? Since when do all pronouns have to refer
back to the subject of the sentence? The antecedent of “them”
is “biotech foods,” and it’s entirely grammatical and proper to use it
thus. In fact, as the noun directly before the pronoun, “biotech foods”
is the logical antecedent.
I could understand all the corrections if my paper was horribly
ungrammatical, with spelling errors and incorrect citations. But my
grammar was flawless. My spelling impeccable. My
citations perfect.
So, in order to get a good grade on my next paper (which is due
Friday), I’m going to have to write badly.
This is going to be fun.

Yay! I can blog again!
Yesterday, after I got home from work, I tried to upload the new
template Wolf sent me. Nothing doing: Blogger decided to give me an
HTTP 500 internal server error. All night. Argh! I tried posting a
couple of things, and changing the template, etc., but while it supposedly
let me change the template, I couldn’t publish. It also supposedly
let me post, but the posts weren’t showing up. According to the Blogger
homepage, other people were updating, but I, for some reason,
couldn’t. I was really annoyed, and, of course, I couldn’t even blog
about it! I decided to bring a disk with me today and update it from
work (bad me).
I forgot the disk.
But, it actually turns out it didn’t matter, because when I opened
Blogger up this morning, all the changes and posts I had made last
night were here, I just needed to publish. I deleted the posts, as they
were mostly “Can I post? Huh, can I?” schtuff, but my template was
intact. And I must say, it looks wonderful, Wolf. You are my hero.

How do you like the “various shades of purple” scheme? I’m quite
pleased with it, myself.

Well, there it is, folks. I don’t much fancy the colors, but as it’s
already almost 1 in the morning, I’ll have to fiddle with them
tomorrow.

For all of you who are coming here in the midst of changes and are
going “what the heck?” I’m updating my template. It’ll be all nice and
pretty when it’s done.

Here’s a link to my author page at Gryffindortower.net.
I’m hoping for A LOT of reviews there, since it is the quintessential
site of H/Gness. They divided up the story, with each section given
its own page. I like that, quite a lot. I’m going to change the ff.net
configuration so it’s the same. Of course, the added bonus is that
means it gets updated, so it will jump on the list, and maybe get some
more reviews.
I’m so sneaky, eh?

I’m going to have to be careful now that Dad has discovered my blog.
J/K, actually, I can’t think of a thing I’ve posted on here that he
doesn’t know already or that I don’t want him to know. He read my
fanfic, too. I didn’t get to ask him if he liked it. Did you like it,
Dad?
I found my knee socks! Yesterday I walked into my Literature of the
Great War class and one of my classmates was wearing this adorable
pleated plaid skirt with GREY KNEE SOCKS. And they were PERFECT, too. I
asked her where she got them, and she said JC Penny, so I went there
today. They had the perfect ones. I’m wearing them right now, with my
new shoes, to break them in.
Tonight my cousin and his new bride had an open house. They actually
got married in Fresno a week ago, but they decided to have an open
house here in Provo too, for all of us who couldn’t make it to Fresno.
It was very nice. My aunt and uncle came up from Arizona, with their 3
cute kids, which was wonderful because they moved there from here 4
months ago, and we miss them a lot. I also talked to my cousin Peter,
who runs an ISP and web-design business, and he’s going to help me
design my new blog when I move it to Ben’s server. I need to get my
domain name first, though. I’ve been thinking about wahlee.net. Or
maybe I’ll just do emilybytheway.com. I still think
coqueenofprocrastination.com is cool, but my dad thinks it’s too long.
He might be right.
Now, to write my “100 things about Emily” list.

So we’re doing Romeo and Juliet in Shakespeare (joy.), and today we got
a rather funny little maze: “Help Juliet find her true love by
following the words of the balcony scene!” If you took a wrong turn,
you ended up with wrong words. Here are a few of my favorites:
O Romeo, Romeo,
What kind of a name is Romeo?
Why couldn’t I have fallen for a guy with a normal name
Like Paris or Albany or even Cincinnatus?
O Romeo, Romeo,
Wherefore art thou Romeo?
Come to think of it,
Wherefore art thou Mercutio, Benvolio,
and that cute Balthazar?
Deny thy father and confuse thy name.
Change it to Tom or Dick or Harry
And my father will never catch on.
Deny thy father and refuse thy name
Or if thou wilt not,
Forget the romance, buster.
Go get yourself some other babe who likes
To have some nut climbing over her garden wall
At all hours of the night.
Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I’ll no longer be a Capulet.
O, be some other name!
And do something about those ridiculous clothes.
Really! I absolutely refuse to go around
With a guy who wears tights.
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo called,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title.
Romeo, doff thy name.
Doff thy hat, too. Where are your manners?
And also, stop carousing with your crazy gang.
What do you think this is, West Side Story?
And for that name, which is no part of thee, Take a hike, buddy. This
new guy, Hamlet, is just as cute as you.
For once, something cool in Shakespeare.

If I wasn’t a really good Mormon girl, I’d be swearing right now. For
several reasons.

First, I saw James today. Ate lunch with him, in fact. I had just
gotten off work, and was walking down the stairs, telling myself that I
was going to write him an e-mail saying goodbye forever (since he
obviously isn’t even thoughtful enough to answer the e-mail I sent him
TWO MONTHS ago.) And, no, that isn’t jerky enough to hurt. It just
means he’s a little thoughtless, which I knew already. Anyway, then I
walked into the Cougareat (food court at BYU), and there he was. *$^#
he’s gorgeous.

We had a nice, friendly chat. Nothing earth shattering. When he left I
just wanted to put my head down on the table and cry. On a happier
note, Gilmore Girls and Smallville were *($& good tonight.
Smallville especially. I’ve decided there’s just something about guys
who play Clark Kent (George Reeves being an exception. Not really my
type). Christopher Reeve is a total hottie, Dean Cain still makes me
swoon, and Tom Welling is– well, you get the picture. And it’s not
really the Superman persona I’m attracted to. I mean, the spandex and
the flying and everything is great and all, but it’s always been Clark
Kent that does it to me. I remember in Lois and Clark (still my
favorite incarnation of Superman, although Smallville is wonderful
too), when Lois finally found out that Clark is Superman, he said
“Superman is what I do. Clark is who I am.” I like who he is.
Although I must admit I’m excited for Smallville!Clark to find out he
can fly.

Well, that was cool.
I just checked my e-mail, and found a message from Emily Bytheway!
Apparently she found the blog doing a Google search. She’s an HP fan
(yay!) and read my fic, and everything. I just sent her an e-mail back,
but I’d like to say welcome to the blog! Check out the other blogs I
have linked, too, and the Sugar Quill, and several other places–
paradise for HP fans.
See, Wolf, I told you there are other Emily Bytheways out there.