Bit of Ivory

In one of my classes the prof decided that rather than have a semester paper we’d do 4 smaller “Oxford style” tutorial papers; thus my verse forms in LotR and Love and Marriage in LotR papers. They’ve been fun and relatively painless; no research is actually required, which I’m not used to doing these days. Kind of nice.

In the other class, though, we’ve got a regular term paper– resarch, lotsa pages, the works. We have to have a proposal ready by Monday, when I have a meeting with the prof. I was having a really hard time coming up with an idea. I haven’t adored any of the books we’ve read so far, and none of the concepts we discussed have really grabbed me either.

Until last week.

We had read a book called Olive– not that great a book, really. It’s out of print and our of canon. But it did have one interesting feature– the protagonist has a disability. Well, they call it a deformity, being Victorians, but there you are. Actually, her– gee, what do you call it? problem?– is not really much of a disability– her back is slightly rounded, her neck slightly short– but she doesn’t even *realize* she has a problem until she’s 16. Anyway, it was very unusual for a heroine to have a disability in Victorian times, and it was especially unusual for a character with a disability to find love and get married, which Olive does. We talked about her journey, how her disability allowed her to do things that a “whole” person wouldn’t have been able to do, how she becomes an artist as a way of proving herself and. . . I had an epiphany.

Olive’s journey is very similar to Miles Vorkosigan’s.

And I discussed my idea with my teacher, and she agreed!

Heh. I’m writing a paper on Bujold!!!

Those of you who actually visit this blog– and there can’t be that many of you, since NO ONE ever comments here except comment spammers– will notice that I have a new template. This is because my brother decided to change hosting companies, so all the sites he hosts (including this one) have been moved to another server. This involved installing a new version of Movable Type, one in which my old template was not fully compatible. I’ve been wanting to redesign it anyway (considering that this blog has had the same look since I started it more than two years ago), so I just stuck with the default MT blog until I have time to mess with it. Hopefully this will be soon. I’m not very good at html past the normal text type things, and I’m definitely not very good with style sheets, but I want it to look more sleek and professional, so it’ll probably be a while so I can study up on how to really do stuff.

You’ll also notice a few entries that didn’t used to be there. That’s because this process took longer than was originally planned, and because a direct upgrade from MT 2.661 to MT 3.15 wasn’t working, so all my entries had to be imported to the new server. I didn’t want to add any more entries until the move was complete, so I didn’t cross-post my LJ stuff here. But now that the move is complete, I have accordingly cross-posted the entries on the appropriate day. Enjoy.

And now, I’m going to bed. I’ll post a real update tomorrow.

So, am writing a paper about the courtly love tradition and its influence (or lack thereof) on The Lord of the Rings. Have stolen my sister’s copy of The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien (which is fascinating, must get my own copy) for such a project. Tolkien obviously looked down on the rituals of courtly love– the sonnets, the gifts, etc.– but he does seem to enjoy the ideals of courtly love (well, aside from the whole adultery thing :P): the unattainable, perfect woman, the toiling, faithful knight, working to win her favor, etc. And he exemplifies it in the Aragorn/Arwen relationship. It seems like Tolkien is trying to create a new kind of courtly love: one in which there can be a happy ending, and fin amour can exist in an actual marriage rather than outside of it.

Heh. That’s my thesis, anyway.

Haven’t figured out how Faramir/Eowyn fits into it yet, though.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to have a long weekend. Siriusly, folks, it’s a good thing this semester only lasts until mid-April, because it’s an absolute beast. I thought I was tired before. Hah. Being able to sleep in on a Monday, even if it’s only one day, will be paradise. And then there’s no days off until school’s out.

Grad school is hard. And I can’t believe I’m planning to get my Ph.D.

I must be completely crazy.

And it didn’t help that I spent a good part of the week obsessively combing the internet for clues to 87. Yes, my friends, I am In The Know. I’m so proud of myself! So, I’ve officially joined the SQ87, and I welcome all subbers to my friends list. I must admit (with no slight meant on my fellow subbers, since it wasn’t long ago that I was one of them) that it’s quite fun leaving cryptic clues on the thread and then watching them scramble about. Probably the best part of knowing the answer, because it’s true: the real meaning is not all that exciting. Really.

It’s still worth it, though.

My quest got me interested in reading AtE again. You know, now that I know, I was wondering if I’d get all the 87 in-jokes better.

I’ve forgotten how good it is. And, even though there are obviously plot differences from what actually happened in canon, it’s amazing how much they got right. Little things. Like Keeper being Ron’s best position. Ginny’s personality and excellence at hexes. Bill/Fleur. And so much more. The characters are the characters. I can imagine them all doing exactly these things. I re-read chapter 27, The Seeker, and I was still grinning and crying, even now. And then I read Firelocks’s excellent First String (Chapter 27 3/4), and laughed and cried again. Good, good stuff. I haven’t read much fanfic lately, but this made me remember why I love it.

It also makes me want to write Albus, but that’s just going to have to wait until summer. Pity.

Have you ever been so incredibly busy that it feels like you’re doing nothing at all? Yeah. Feeling like that. Most of the stuff I’m doing would be supremely boring to most of the people who read this, and that which may be interesting to you all, I find I don’t want to talk about. I don’t get it. I’ve had a blog for nearly 3 years now. And up until this year, I have posted nearly every day. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Is all my creativity getting sucked out in grad school? I don’t see how, considering I’ve written all of one paper this year (on the verse forms in LotR, fascinating stuff, actually). Maybe it’s getting sucked into my job? Very possible. I’m spending more time at it that I am on school, and let me tell you, I’m doing some pretty hard stuff. Nothing I can go into detail about, being under nondisclosure, unfortunately. Maybe that’s part of the problem– being legally forbidden to discuss that which takes up most of your waking hours. Makes sense, in a perverse sort of way.

And I’m so tired. So tired. Maybe it’s winter doldrums (although the inversion has cleared out, the snow looks lovely on the ground even when it’s melting, and I don’t particularly mind the cold except when I have to scrape my windshield in the morning). Maybe it’s all work and no play. Maybe it’s post-wedding letdown. Maybe it’s just the same junk that’s been haunting my existence for the past four and a half years. But in any case, I can barely drag myself out of bed in the morning. I skipped work today (partially because I had very little to do, partially because I hadn’t gotten all of my Le Morte D’Arthur assignment read) and slept in, and it felt wonderful, but I’m still just as tired as if I’d gotten up at 6:30 and went on my merry way to work. I look at myself in the mirror and can see little more than the dark circles under my eyes, and I wonder if all of this is really worth it, and if I’m not just fooling myself when it comes to what I want and what I can accomplish and whether any of this actually means anything to anyone other than me, and do you really belong where you think you do, Emily Bytheway, and will any of it actually make a difference, and just who are you, anyway?

And just ignore all of that. I’m not really feeling that conflicted (although I do still feel I have very little to write about anymore), I’m just tired and hungry and cold and I’ve been reading Bujold, and you know how *that* can be. Memory gets me every time. Gah.

Still want to marry Gregor Vorbarra. Anybody know someone like that they’d like to set me up with?

Now, I should probably read a bit of Matthew Arnold, given that I’m going to be giving a presentation on him come Friday. *sigh*

I’ve been terrible about these, but I’d like to start again. So here we go:

Mosiah 5:15

Therefore, I would that ye should be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in good works, that Christ, the Lord God Omnipotent, may seal you his, that you may be brought to heaven, that ye may have everlasting salvation and eternal life, through the wisdom, and power, and justice, and mercy of him who created all things, in heaven and in earth, who is God above all. Amen.

Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing (as arranged by Mack Wilberg)

Come, thou fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing thy grace
Streams of mercy, never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet
Sung by flaming tongues above
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it
Mount of thy redeeming love

Here I raise my Ebenezer
Hither by thy help I’ve come
And I hope, by thy good pleasure
Safely to arrive at home
Prone to wander, Lord I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
Here’s my heart, oh take and seal it
Seal it for thy courts above

Jesus sought me when a stranger
Wandering from the throne of God
He to resuce me from danger
Interposed his precious blood
Prone to wander, Lord I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
Here’s my heart, oh, take and seal it
Seal it for thy courts above

Oh to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be
Let they goodness, like a fetter
Bind my wandering heart to thee
Prone to wander, Lord I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
Here’s my heart, oh, take and seal it
Seal it for they courts above

I’m still fiddling around– WHY does Dell put so much JUNK on these things?– but I love her already. She’s small and she’s cute and she’s really QUIET.

The first thing I did was install Firefox. The second thing I did was install Thunderbird. And then I changed it from the default Fisher Price theme. And then I came here to update.

Hooray for new computers!!

My computer shipped!

Yes, friends, Ginvera (otherwise known as Ginny III) is on its way, and should be here tomorrow!

Model: Dell 600m
Processor: Intel Pentium M 725(1.6GHz)
Display: 14.1-in. XGA, with 32MB Video
RAM: 512MB,DDR,266MHz 2 Dimms
Hard Drive: 60GB Ultra ATA
OS: Microsoft Windows XP Professional, Service Pack 2
Networking: Internal 56K Modem and Integrated Network Card; Intel PRO/Wireless 2200 (802.11b/g) Internal Wireless
Media Drive: 24X Combo DVD/CD-RW
Office software: WordPerfect Office 12 (whoot! no Word for me!)
Warranty: 4-year limited warranty with at-home and nights and weekends 24/7 technical support and service
Insurance: 4-year Complete Care accidental coverage protection

And I got a really good deal on it too.

In other news, I’ve felt like killing Charles Dickens lately. Too bad he’s already dead. Yes, folks. I’ve finished Bleak House. All 990 pages of it. GAH. I read it in 3 days, because I got a surprise paper sprung on me. Well, it wasn’t really a surprise, but the teacher gave us absolutely no guidance on what the paper was supposed to be until Monday. So I couldn’t do any prep work on it. In any case, I get to write it tonight. It’ll be on the influence of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight on The Lord of the Rings. 5-7 pages, no research necessarily necessary. We shall see how it goes.

I hate being so busy that I don’t have time to comment and post. It SUX. BIG TIME. Must figure out a way to give myself more free time. Must.

Yesterday I was chatting with Melissa on Y!M when I smelled something– burning isn’t the right word. It smelled like my dad using his sottering iron. I investigated and discovered that Ginny’s power cord was overheating. *sigh* The plug shorted out. Again. And this time, it melted the connector on my computer. Dad managed to get it charged just enough that I could check my e-mail and post this, but he’ll need to open it up and fix the melted connector for it to work properly.

I’m seriously considering taking out a student loan and investing in a new Dell. Ginny III it would be (since I still have Harry). I’ve just had so many problems with this one that I’m willing to spend a bit for something more reliable. I can’t afford to have my computer die in the middle of a paper.

Tonight my family went to a devotional at my Stake Center given by Ken Jennings. It was highly enjoyable. He’s a really, really funny guy. He started out by quoting 1 Corinthians 15:30: “And why stand we in jeopardy every hour?”

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He cracked many a joke in the course of the evening. My favorite was when he was discussing how he had to study mixed drinks to have any chance of answering the Potent Potables categories, and in the midst of relating the anecdotes he gave two recipes for some cocktail or the other (which I can’t remember of course). He then quipped, “and that will be the first and last time you’ll ever hear two recipes for mixed drinks over a Mormon podium.”

Indeed.

Anyway, fun evening. Ken seems to be a really nice, humble guy who has his head on straight. Extremely cool that he’s in my stake.

Batteries running out. See you soon.

I need to be careful, or I could jinx myself.

The wedding was wonderful. I spent Thursday night doing flowers with my aunt Carrie and Jen and working myself up into a state of nervous prostration that a) Amanda wouldn’t like the flowers and b) that they’d all wilt and/or fall out by the time the wedding itself actually happened. Luckily, Amanda loved the flowers and nothing fell out. But I didn’t know that Thursday night, of course. My aunt Carrie ended up doing the boutonnieres, the prep work on the corsages (we couldn’t find the ribbon I wanted to use) and the maid of honor bouquet; Jen did the rest of the bridesmaid’s bouquets and the bouquet to toss, and I did Amanda’s bouquet, finished the corsages, and did the arrangement for the guest book table. By the end of the night, I was absolutely exhausted. Unfortunately, my night was haunted by nightmares of wilting flowers and shattering bouquets. And I had to get up waaaay too early to get to the temple on time.

The ceremony was amazing, though. My great-uncle John performed the sealing, and it was a very spiritual and romantic event. Those who have witnessed a temple sealing know what a simple but beautiful ceremony it is, and it was extra-good that day. After the ceremony we went outside to take pictures. Luckily, it was a clear day (the days before and after Friday were overcast) and not too cold, so Amanda (my new sister!) didn’t freeze without a coat while we snapped a few pics in front of the temple.

After that we made our way to our stake center for the wedding breakfast (I know, it’s more of a luncheon, but that’s what we call it here), which was very nice and at which I ate waaaay too much food (including a wonderful eclair and a to-die-for chocolate dipped macaroon), did a bit of laughing, and cheered when my dad made an HP reference after we were done eating (“Now that we’re all fed and watered”), and then helped clean up and set up for the reception later. Dad and I went down to Backer’s and picked up the cake, then I got my hair done and got dressed, and before I knew it, it was time for the reception to start.

The reception was fantastic. Family, old friends, new friends– oh, and good food. I took a few pics (click on the thumbnail for a bigger one):

Amanda with her close friend Valerie, who is modeling the bridesmaid dress– a silver top and a blue skirt with lilac snowflakes embroidered on it.

Full length pic of Amanda in her dress.

Amanda in her dress closer up.

A closeup of the bouquet. I did a pretty darn good job, if I do say so myself.

The bouquet that Amanda threw, which Jen made. No, I didn’t catch it. Valerie did.

The guestbook table. I made the arrangement.

The display of the potrait my cousin Pete did of Amanda and Ben. They used the picture on the invitations.

Closeup of the picture.

Those are all the digital pics that you’d care to see. I’ll have to wait for the other pics to come back to post any more.

Oh, and while I’m at it:

Happy Birthday, Dadoo!!!