Bit of Ivory

One, the senior editor at work had a heart attack on Friday. He was in the hospital last time I heard, but that was Saturday morning, so I don’t know the latest. I don’t know what this means for our project– I can’t do anything until he finishes his part. Monday morning is going to be interesting. But even beyond that, it’s really quite amazing to me how much I care about these people, even though I’ve only been working with them for a month and a half. I really do have awesome coworkers. This whole thing has me a little shaken.

Two, going shopping last week for a blouse made me realize just how overweight I am. It’s so discouraging to try on the cute fashions and discover that they make you look like a frumpy cow. I’ve been “trying to lose weight” all year, but I haven’t really been trying lately. I wasn’t doing too badly until my grandpa got sick, and then I fell so far off the wagon it felt like I could never get back on. Food became a matter of convenience and comfort, and I ended up not only gaining back the 4 pounds I had managed to lose, but also to gain two more. The perk of free membership at the gym was great, but I came up with so many excuses not to go. And eating well was so difficult, when there’s a vending machine full of yummy snacks and you forgot to bring anything healthy to eat.

No more.

I can exercise self-control. Most of the things I eat that are fattening are things that I can do quite well without; I just eat them because they’re there. Plenty of healthy things taste good to me, and those things that I love but that aren’t that great for me can be worked into my diet. I refuse to give up things that I love, I just need to learn to plan for them. If I can cut my caloric intake to 1500 calories a day, and burn 200-300 calories exercising, I can get rid of these extra pounds I’ve been carrying around far too long by the time I start grad school.

And it will truly be a new start.