Bit of Ivory

Not in frustration– in exhaustion. I’m literally having difficulty keeping my eyes open, in while doing other things. I seem to be reverting back to the Good Old Days of having trouble falling and staying asleep. Dran. I thought I was passed that. In any case, I’ve been waking up more exhausted than when I went to bed, and this is with being absolutely dead when I fall into bed. It’s incrediby annoying.

Have you ever been tired so long that you can’t remember what it’s like to feel awake? That’s what it’s been like for me these past 4 years. I honestly can’t recall what being awake feels like. Frankly, it frightens me, because when I’m tired I simply don’t perform up to the level I know I can perform at. What if I’m still this tired when I start grad school in the fall? Will I be able to handle it? Will my memory continue to go downhill? School as always been easy for me– I really did very little studying for my entire undergrad. I’m scared that I’ll get into school, find it much harder than what I’ve been used to, and either kill myself from stress or flunk out.

In the meantime my eyes are closing of their own accord at work, and I know I don’t have the energy to go to the gym again today.

Being tired SUX.