I want my check just as much as you do. But stop looking at me like I’m hording your money all for myself, or acting like it’s all my fault. It’s not. No, I don’t know why they’re not here yet. No one tells me anything. I’m just the receptionist.

But.

I’ve been keeping up with the press on the new adaptation, mostly via Austenblog, but other places as well. Today BYU’s college newspaper reprinted an article that appeared in the Los Angeles Times. It’s mostly positive, but this made me see red.

He also wanted a much earthier “Pride & Prejudice.” This film doesn’t sugarcoat the Bennets’ meager existence ??? pigs and chickens run freely in the unkempt, mud-soaked yard. (The movie, written by Deborah Moggach, was shot in a variety of locations in England.)

“I did a lot of research and discovered that people did live ??? especially with the income the Bennets would have ??? in a close proximately to their rural environment,” Wright said. “I felt it was important [to show that]. Aesthetically, I like mess. I don’t like tidiness.”

I can only assume that “a lot of research” equalled “I Googled it, and ignored anything that I didn’t agree with,” because as far as historical accuracy goes, this is horrible. First of all: meager existence? Mr. Bennet has an income of 2,000 pounds per year. A quick Google search provided me with a few rough estimates for how that translates to today’s money. Cliff’s notes estimates that Mr. Bennet’s income would be roughly $180,000 today. Others estimate more like $150,000, while some think it might be around $200,000. In any case, that does not, to me, equal a “meager” existence. True, Darcy’s 10,000 pounds (anywhere from $700,000 to $1,000,000 per year) is such that Mr. Bennet’s fortune pales in comparison, but 2,000 pounds a year does not a pauper equal. Even a much smaller income, such as the 500 pounds a year the Dashwood women are left with, is enough to rent a comfortable cottage and employ at least two servants, one of whom was a man and therefore subject to a luxury tax. 400 pounds per year is considered sufficent to marry on, and to still be considered a member of the gentry. The Bennet girls are “penniless” not because their father has an insufficient income, but because they will inherit no more than 1,000 pounds each. It is their dowry, not their father’s income, which is the problem when it comes to matrimony.

Second, it is very true that most of Mr. Bennet’s income came from rents paid to him from his estate, and from the home farm. His horses are often wanted in the farm, and are therefore unavailable for the carriage. It may be that the farm was not as far away from the house as we generally see, as in P&P2. However. Mr. Bennet may be a lot of things, but a bad manager of his estates he most certainly is not. Mrs. Bennet may be a lot of things, but she prides herself on the superiority of her housekeeping every bit as much as the beauty of her daughters. Longbourn would be neither unkempt not untidy. Chickens and pigs would not be allowed free reign of the house. The idea is unthinkable.

It’s things like these that make me fear for this adaptation. Add in the badly-made costumes, the lack of wearing bonnets in public (sorry, but no. no.), and the fact that the most frequently applied adjective to the new adaptation is “Bronteish”– gah. My resolve to wait and see becomes weaker by the minute.

*turns lovingly to shiny new Oxford Illustrated Austen volumes*

Also: Elizabeth Bennet’s nickname is spelled “Lizzy,” not “Lizzie.” Stop. Spelling. It. Wrong. It’s almost as bad as calling our beloved Jane “Miss Austin.”

For the first time in forever, I have writer’s block on a paper.

It’s not a problem of not having a good idea: the idea is great (fealty in LotR). It’s not a problem of not having enough material: if anything, I have too much.

I just can’t figure out how to say it.

And I don’t know how to fix it.