Speaking of Lizzy, wanna see a pic of her newly-repaired trunk?

There’s a couple more in the set if you click on the photo. Doesn’t she look gorgeous? We’re still on the lookout for a new trunk panel (you can see that it’s a bit broken if you look at a larger size) and she smells like paint on the inside still, but other than that, I have no complaints. At all. I love my car.

Except that somewhere during the whole ordeal, her license plate frame/cover thingy got broken (I suspect it was the tow truck to blame, because it shouldn’t have been damaged by the actual crash). Said frame used to read “You think that, Jane, if it gives you comfort.” Which is a great line and an even greater inside joke, but it has two problems: 1) it’s from the 1995 mini-series version of Pride and Prejudice, and therefore was not actually written by Jane Austen, and 2) it was spoken by Mr. Bennet to Jane, which means that it doesn’t match with the whole “Lizzy” thing. So I need to come up with an appropriate line from the P&P book that (preferably) was either spoken by or refers to Elizabeth Bennet, and that will fit on a license plate cover. Because, while “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife” is awesome, it would be impossible to decipher if we managed to get it on a frame.

So. Want to help me brainstorm? (I have already considered, and rejected, “What are men to rocks and mountains?” because I’m not really that much of an outdoorsy girl.) Come on, you know you want to comb through the pages of P&P.

I’ve been having a weird vertigo thing the last couple of weeks. I’m not dizzy, per se, at least not in the just-got-off-the-Mad-Tea-Party way. I just can’t seem to keep my balance, and the room likes to spin when I move my head too quickly. I eventually went to the doctor last Saturday, who said it was probably related to some congestion in my head (not in my sinuses or nasal passages, though, as they were both perfectly clear) and prescribed meclizine and Nasonex, and told me I could also take Zyrtec if it didn’t get better. I did end up taking the Zyrtec, too, which made me incredibly drowsy for the last week. And the vertigo still hasn’t completely cleared up. Gah.

This has rather slowed down my promising progress on my thesis, as reading a traditional book is difficult due to the angles involved. And there are a couple of other issues as well, which I’m not quite prepared to talk about in public yet. Still, I do seem to be getting a bit better, and am hopeful that the worst of my writer’s block is behind me.

I spent Saturday shopping for room-painting supplies. I think I blogged about this (but I’m waaay too lazy today to go looking), but just as a review, this spring my window well leaked (unbeknownst to me) and caused a big section of my carpet to go all moldy and mildewy and caused water damage to 5 of my 7 bookshelves (I know, that’s a ton– but in my defense, two of them are just teeny 1-foot-wide shelves, which I use as a stereo stand and a bedside table). And it ruined a library book, too, which was intensely distressing to me. Well, the carpet has dried but needed to be replaced, and we finally went and found a remnant that was cheap and a good color. Which means that I get to repaint my room–it’s currently pink, and I’m not really a pink person. It’s going to be a lovely sage green, and I’m going to go home tonight and remove the rest of my wallpaper border and get stuff prepped. Yay! I shall have to take pictures when it’s all done.

I’m also going to get a new bed. This one, to be precise. I’ve always wanted a bed like that. Too bad my room is too small (once you cram my 7 bookshelves in– and I need all of them!) to have more than a twin-sized bed. I’d like to upgrade to a full. Being 27 years old and all.

It’s okay, though, ’cause Lizzy is coming home tomorrow! They painted her yesterday, and were re-assembling her today. Apparently her new trunk lid was originally champagne-colored, and her new bumper was dark blue. And they couldn’t find a DX model trunk for her, so the back insert was going to be the standard gray kind instead of the spiffy-used-for-that-model-year-only red one. Buying a brand-new one was going to cost $400. But then dad talked to the body shop guy today, and he said that the original one wasn’t really that damaged. So he’s putting Lizzy’s back on, until we can find a completely undamaged one. It also means that Lizzy will be missing the “DX” sticker-thingy on the trunk, but dad found one on eBay for $6.

Can you tell I’m excited about getting my car back?

I’m going to Disneyland in April! Whoot! With my sister Lisa and her BFF Sarah, right after Lisa’s finals end. And I mean RIGHT after. ‘Cause Disneyland is doing a deal where, if you go to the park on April 24 or before, you can get a 5-day Park Hopper pass for the price of a 3-day. And Lisa’s last final is April 23rd, at 1:00 pm. So, we’re flying out that night at about 8, and going to Disney the next day. Staying until Monday, and flying home again at 8:00 that night. I’ve never been to Disneyland over multiple days before. I wonder how many times I’ll manage to squeeze in Pirates? *ponders*

Watched Northanger Abbey last night. Really enjoyed it, although, of course, there were a few things that bugged. I was prepared to hate it, because Mags of Austenblog hated it, and my taste tends to be similar to hers. But I liked it. Quite a lot. It was better than Persuasion, anyway. I’m looking forward to Mansfield Park in a this-is-going-to-be-a-trainwreck kind of way. I have no particular attachment to the novel, you see, so I think I’ll be able to enjoy it as Le Bad Cinema (as our local movie guy dubs really really bad flicks), since it’s rather obvious I won’t be able to enjoy it as Good Cinema. Since they cast Billie Piper as Fanny Price and all. I love Billie Piper, but she simply isn’t Fanny Price.

Of course, the small things that they didn’t get right in Northanger Abbey have me reading the novel again, even though I reread it only a month or so ago. Not that there’s anything wrong with rereading Austen, ever. But I just can’t let all of Henry’s snarky lines go unappreciated. I lent one of my copies (yes, I have several) to Lisa, too, so soon she too will be reveling in the sexiness that is Henry Tilney.

Yup. All the signs of flu.

At about 10:15, I couldn’t take it any more. If I didn’t go home soon, I’d end up throwing up in the garbage can. They have quite enough of that with our patients– they don’t need it with the employees! So I called my supervisor, who was kind enough to take over for me.

Anyway. I shall spare you all the gory details. It must have been a 24-hour bug , because I was feeling much better yesterday, but not well enough to come back in. It was that stage where, while you’re laying down, you feel almost completely normal, and you wonder if you’re just milking it and should just suck it up and do something productive. Then you actually get up and realize that, no, there’s still something seriously wrong with you.

Anyway, I’m back at work today, but still not feeling quite 100%. This being-vertical thing is going to take some getting used to.

I did use the horizontal time semi-productively, though– I got about halfway through Mansfield Park (which is the only Austen novel I don’t tend to pick up and read at least once a year– I think I’ve only read it 4 times, tops, and two of those readings were for classes– and is therefore the one I’m least familiar with), and found that I’m enjoying it more this time last previous readings. Maybe I’m getting used to it.

In the meantime, my 4-year Dell Complete Care/Warranty has now paid for itself. My USB ports on Ginevra suddenly stopped working a few weeks ago. I thought at first that it was just my laptop mouse that had died, but then my camera wouldn’t connect either. I finally got on Dell’s support chat, and after going through several pointless driver updates and diagnostics, they agreed with me that they were simply fried and agreed to send a tech out to replace my motherboard. Which he did, on Saturday. And they worked again! For about an hour. I’d reconnected my mouse and left the room for a moment, only to come in and find my laptop turned off. When I got it booted up again, the USB ports were not working. AGAIN. My dad realized that there must be a short in my laptop mouse that was causing the USB power supply to overheat. In any case, they were fried again. This time I sent Dell an e-mail, and they called back, and I managed to make my needs understood through the language barrier (I’m sure the rep on the other end was very intelligent, but his accent was quite thick), and he agreed to replace the motherboard again. The Dell tech came again last night, and I refrained from using my mouse (I’m going to buy a new one), and aside from a slight scare that probably can be blamed on my camera’s battery being low, it seems all is right with Ginevra. Now I can back her up and reinstall XP, which I’ve been wanting to do for months.

But, yeah. Two new motherboards in 5 days. The warranty is definitely worth it.

Wanna see my pretty 100% alpaca yarn that I splurged on at the Great Basin Fiber Arts Fair on Saturday? No? Oh, well. I’m linking it anyway.

My title also feels like a good metaphor for how I feel about my life at the moment, but I don’t want to go into that.

I’ve been spending a lot of online time at Ravelry, which is still in beta mode but which is absolute crack for knitters and crocheters. I know is on there, but other than her, I have no friends (which kinda defeats the social-networking side of the whole site). Is anyone else in yet? Or are you still waiting for your invite (they’re getting closer to going public)? Or have you never even heard of it until now?

I threw my back out last Saturday. It was almost better on Monday. Tuesday it was as bad as it’s ever been. Massive amounts of ibuprofen and Thermacare wraps make getting through the day bearable, but if it doesn’t get better soon, I guess I’ll need to call the chiropractor. Grr. But– my insurance now covers chiropractic visits! Hurrah!

Speaking of insurance, I went to the doctor for the first time in a year on Friday. Got my thyroid levels checked (normal). Got a referral to radiology to get an ultrasound, to check for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. If I have it, then the treatment is birth control pills (which I’m already on, and have been for years) and controlling weight (which I’m already trying to do). So even if I have it, nothing will change, except knowing that I have it. Joy.

Having insurance again is nice.

Overall, I like my job, but there are two definite drawbacks. One is that I have to listen to KOSY (click on the link to see what music I am subjected to, and feel my pain!) for 40 hours a week. Not only do they play the same songs every day, sometimes they play the same songs more than once in the SAME day! I swear, I’m going to go insane. And I just can’t WAIT until they switch over to all Christmas music, all the time in OCTOBER. *screams* Ahem. Anyway, the other drawback is that, unlike most office jobs, I can’t wake up in the morning and say “I can use another half-hour of sleep. I’ll go in at 8:30 and only take a half hour lunch.” I can’t just take off early to go to a doctor’s appointment. I can’t suddenly decide to take a weekend trip. And I feel like I can’t call in sick unless I truly can’t sit up. Because any time I’m not there, someone else has to cover for me. Which is a huge inconvenience to everyone else. I don’t like feeling guilty because I have a doctor’s appointment.

Of course, if I weren’t such a responsible person, I wouldn’t feel guilty. Being good is such a drag sometimes.

I’ve got two HP plot bunnies that I want to write– one a genficlet about Kingsley visiting the Muggle PM, and one a romantic H/G piece set a few weeks after the end of the battle– and I just. can’t. write. them. The H/G fic was progressing at the rate of 1 paragraph per day when my creativity completely died. It seems, then, that my writer’s block has progressed past essays and into fic, which is very bad news for my thesis. If I can’t even write H/G fluff, how can I write criticism? *sigh*

Speaking of my thesis, I need help from some of you. But that can wait for another post.

I saw Hairspray the other day, and Stardust on Monday night. Both excellent movies. Except I didn’t like John Travolta in drag in Hairspray. Totally ruined my suspension of disbelief. Robert de Niro in Stardust, on the other hand, was hilarious. And speaking of Stardust– where has Charlie Cox been all my life? And do you think he’d object to a slightly older woman?

My recreational reading has taken an Austenish turn lately. I’ve started reading the Jane Austen Mystery series by Stephanie Barron, and actually find the books amusing. She does a pretty good job of capturing Austen’s voice, IMO. Then yesterday I read Austenland by Shannon Hale, which, despite its not-so-subtle insults of Northanger Abbey, I found thoroughly delightful. I was quite giddy at the romance, even. Almost giddy enough to forgive the Northanger Abbey digs. Hale really gets the Austen fangirl, though. Really.

I also started another reread of Pride and Prejudice. I swear I started before I read Austenland, though.

I don’t plan on seeing Becoming Jane until my sister can get me in for free. I hope I can set aside my prejudice and enjoy it, but I don’t hold much hope. I’m just so annoyed at the message it’s sending– that Jane couldn’t have written those books unless she’d actually experienced a tragic love story, and that apparently she has next to no imagination at all, anyway, since most of her best scenes, lines, and characters are copied from her life. That really, really bugs me. But that wouldn’t be so bad if Hollywood hadn’t also marketed it as 100% TRUFAX, when actually it’s (as Mags of Austenblog likes to say) an almost totally Made Up Story. Grr.

In much, much happier news– BYU Football officially begins a week from Saturday. I’ve been haunting fanboards. I’ve been eagerly gobbling up practice reports. I attended the Women’s Football Clinic and the Big Blue Bash. I nearly kissed our season tickets. I’ve changed my cell ringtone to “Rise and Shout,” and I get giddy every time I hear it. I ADORE football.

Anyway. I’m just going to post some random things that I’ve either been doing or thinking lately. ‘Cause my life has gotten rather boring lately.

I’m thoroughly sick of listening to KOSY 106.5 for 40 hours a week. They play the same dumb songs every day. And even when they play a song I like– a Carpenters song, or a few that I’ve got on my iPod– I’ve heard them all so much lately that I don’t even enjoy them any more. And why, why, do people remake stupid 60s songs? There are lots and lots of really good songs that came out of the 60s, but do people cover them? No! Instead we get “Groovy Kind of Love” and “On Broadway” and other such songs that weren’t that good to begin with, and certainly don’t improve with a modern cover. Just. . . stop, people. If you were taking these mediocre songs and making them better, I wouldn’t complain! But instead, you’re making them worse.

And if I never hear another Elton John or Rod Stewart song, it’d be too soon. Unfortunately, they play at least 3 a day. Hmph.

Vanilla Coke is back (well, it’s now “Coca-Cola Vanilla” and “Coke Zero Vanilla”, but it tastes the same). This is both wonderful and terrible news. Wonderful because I love Vanilla Coke. Terrible because I try not to drink caffeine, and I haven’t been drinking as much of it since Vanilla Coke was discontinued. Woe.

My nails and cuticles look terrible. I just bought some cuticle cream to try to whip them into shape. I don’t have much hope though– I’ve never been able to make them look anything but terrible. And my nails are so brittle. I guess I need more Vitamin E in my diet or something. Anyway, these horrible horrible cuticles have been catching on my knitting lately, so something must be done.

Speaking of knitting, I’ve been working on a silk shawl as a gift for Jen’s wedding (which was on Wednesday and which was beautiful and at which I cried and which I still haven’t recovered from, and all I did was serve cake for an hour and a half) and it’s turning out absolutely beautifully. Here’s a pic I took with my cellphone camera when I’d only done a few repeats. It’s much bigger now. I was trying to get it done for the wedding, but hurrying made me make stupid mistakes, which took more time to correct than just taking my time in the first place would have, so it didn’t get done. I am glad that I did the practice shawl (most of it, I still have to do the edging on two of the sides) beforehand, though, because if I hadn’t already had experience with the kinds of aggravating things that happen when knitting lace, I think I would have given up on it long ago. Anyway, I think I might be able to finish it by the time she gets back from her honeymoon, though. Or shortly thereafter.

Once I get that finished, I’ve got baby House sweaters for the niece and nephew to knit in time for the DH release, Lisa’s Hufflepuff scarf to finish in time for the OotP premiere, and then– I’ve got so many lovely projects on tap! For my birthday I requested gift certificates and/or money to spend on knitting things. So, in the past few weeks, I’ve bought lace blocking wires, 4 more sets of Knitpicks Options needle tips in the sizes I use most (6, 7, 8, and 9, if anyone was wondering) as well as another set of 24″ cables and a new set of 40″ ones (and it’s a good thing, too, because I certainly need the length for the shawl!), a set of wooden cable needles, and a magnetic chart keeper. And those are just my notions! I also bought the book No Sheep for You, which had good info on silk and also has a lot of cute patterns that I want to make. And yarn! I got three balls of this lovely, lovely DK-weight merino superwash wool that I can’t remember the name of to make an Irish Hiking Scarf (hence the cable needles– I haven’t done cables yet, and this is my project to learn), a ball of sock yarn to make my very first pair of socks with (haven’t decided what pattern to use on that yet), two skeins of a burgundy-colored laceweight merino wool to make Christmas-present shawls for my grandmothers (I’m planning on using the Shetland pattern from Victorian Lace Today for them), a cone of laceweight 100% silk yarn in Citron from Colourmart for a shawl for my mom (we haven’t decided on a specific pattern yet), and two cones of heavy-laceweight silver gray yarn from Colourmart for a Cap Shawl from VLT for me. And I still have two balls of Rowan Kidsilk Haze that I bought in Laguna Beach that’s wanting to become a Victorian Ruby scarf from VLT. But I don’t know when I’ll actually get to that.

Luckily, I still have a lot of time to knit at work. Because I’m still trying to work on my thesis at home. Which is hard. And which I haven’t done much of. Next week, I shall buckle down. Yes, I will.

And who knew that when I decided to learn how to knit so I could make myself a Ravenclaw scarf, that it would turn into this? I certainly didn’t.

I still haven’t written up my trip to Laguna, or to New York. But I have uploaded my pictures to my Flickr account. Laguna is here and New York is here. Haven’t finished writing up descriptions for all of them, though. I think some of my “artsy-fartsy”-type landscape and scenery shots turned out rather well, even with my point-and-shoot digital. One of these days I’ll bring my SLR on a trip. I hardly ever have room for it. Not that I really know how to use it, anyway.

I really need to reserve my copy of Deathly Hallows. I’ve been putting it off because plans were still hazy, but there’s not much time left! Less than a month! EEK!!

I need to see Pirates 3 again. I’ve only seen it thrice! Not nearly enough.

The owner of my place of employment comes in rarely, but he never fails to make me feel like he thinks my IQ is significantly lower than it actually is, and that I’m doing everything wrong (when I’m not). One of the drawbacks of doing a job that’s below my skill level, I suppose.

Speaking of work, they’ve been asking me to create more and more specially-formatted documents lately. And all I have to work with is Word, which SUCKS when what you’re really doing is desktop publishing, not word processing (actually, it sucks for word processing, too, but that’s another rant). When my boss gets back (she and half the rest of the company are on vacation/at conferences this weekend), I might ask if they’d be willing to spring for something rather better– especially if they’re going to do that newsletter that they’ve been talking about since I was hired. I don’t suppose InDesign would be a viable option, but I might be able to talk them into Publisher. Which would be better than nothing.

The other day in a fit of boredom I read The Mysteries of Udolpho on Project Gutenberg. Now, I knew from past experience (and several classes discussing the Gothic Novel) that Ann Radcliffe’s brand of Gothic is more of the Scooby-do type (where everything that seems supernatural has a rational explanation), but her style of giving these explanations is maddening. At one point, the heroine, Emily (and as a nitpick– if the heroine were really in 16th-century France, as the novel purports, her name would have been spelled Emilie. Just sayin’), lifts a black veil covering what is supposedly a picture, and faints dead away. She then spends the rest of the book nearly fainting with horror over what she saw. But the reader doesn’t even get to know what it was that she thought she saw until almost the last page of the book, and then it’s explained in the same breath as what it was she actually saw. Which felt a lot like being conned rather than tricked. I didn’t get that feeling with The Romance of the Forest, though. So maybe it’s unique to Udolpho. Anyway, I’m glad I read it, as I now understand the references to it in Northanger Abbey that much better, but it’s a horrid book– and not in the sense Catherine uses it, either.

And “horrid” is a word that we Yanks don’t use much. Which is a shame, because it’s much more compact than “horrible.” I always think about this fact when listening to the Keane B-side “The Way You Want It,” because they use “horrid,” and it’s just another sign of their Britishness coming out. Which I love.

I’ve been helping my mom find and plant (we both do the finding, but I’ve been doing most of the planting– mom’s back has been bothering her. The doctors think she has a herniated disc, which stinks) perennials in our yard lately. It’s quite fun. Right now we’ve gotten mostly shrubs and ornamental grasses, but we’re hoping to plant some flower seeds in the fall. In the meantime, our strawberries ripened, and they were (and are, since we made jam and froze them) delicious. They were kinda dinky, but so much sweeter than the big ones you get in stores. Mmm. Now to plant some raspberry bushes. . .

My other BFF Nicole is in town for a family reunion and for Jen’s wedding, and tomorrow we’re going to go to Kneaders for lunch. I’m really, really looking forward to it. MMM, fresh roasted turkey on foccacia with Kneader’s sauce. And I’m saving my WW points so I can indulge in a mini Key Lime tart, too. Or maybe a mini strawberry tart. We shall have to see when we get there.

Speaking of points, I’ve re-lost about half of the weight I regained between all my vacations and starting work full-time (which at first meant eating out every day, although I’m getting better at that). Slowly but surely, the weight will come off! Although it’s leaning more towards slowly these days. I bought an incentive dress the other night, though. It’ll look great about 10 pounds from now. The new Kashi frozen entrees are absolutely delicious, are very filling, and a nice change of pace from Lean Cuisines (which I rather overdosed on, hence the eating-out-too-much phenomenon). Snacking on sugar snap peas is also a good thing. The new Hostess 100 Calorie chocolate cupcake packs are only 1 point per package (if you only eat one. If you eat two, then it’s 4 points for both :P), while the yellow cake ones are 2. Packs of mini Pringles are 3. I’ve been enjoying all of them in moderation lately.

It occurs to me that this post would be more effective when broken up over several days. I bet I’d get more comments that way.

Maybe that’ll give me the incentive I need to post more.

1) School: Pretty much the same. What with starting a new job and still being quite exhausted, not much progress has been made on the thesis. But things are looking up for this week. I’m determined not to let myself get stressed out about it again, as it will simply exacerbate the problem.

2) Job: Loving it. Everyone is really friendly and they think I’m great (I’m in a fair way to getting a big head with all the praise I get). The phones are anywhere from steady to nonexistent, but never off-the-hook. During the time between phone calls I’m free to do whatever I like. They have little projects for me every now and then (they’re already quite enamoured of my editing skills), but if there’s nothing that needs to be done, I can read, play solitaire, surf the web, whatever. So yeah, good job for me. I’ll admit that it was tough getting up in time to be there at 8 every morning, but that’s the beauty of this switching-off deal– I only have to do that for a week. I am trying to be up *by* 8 on my afternoon-weeks, though.

3) Family: We’re doing well. My niece and nephew are about the most adorable things ever. We’re trying to nail down dates for a family vacation (including both married couples and my Grandma By) to upstate New York at the end of April/first of May. I’m way excited.

4) Friends: Good. Jen has invited me to join her and a couple other friends for a trip to Laguna Beach over Easter, which I’m very excited about. In the meantime, I hang out with her once a week at Institute. The trip to California will include a day at Disneyland, so I’ll get to see Nicole while I’m down there as well.

5) Fandom: Still working at Scribbulus, and am very excited that HarryPotterSeven.com is up and running. I’m the one in charge of making the .pdf version, and I’m trying to work on that a little every day– so hopefully it won’t be too long until you can download all of our brilliance as an e-book. I’m also doing a bit more at SQ (which I basically ignored for several months). I guess the excitement of a new book is bringing me back to my roots. I’m, unfortunately, a few days behind on the reading, but I hope to catch up soon. (As an aside for my Austen-loving friends: the more I hear about the upcoming Becoming Jane movie, the more I want an undead monkey around to shoot. Grrr.)

6) Church: I was unexpectedly called into the Bishop’s office last week, and I got a new calling. I’m no longer teaching the adult Sunday School class– instead I’m a Ward Missionary (which mainly involves working with those within your ward boundaries that are members but not currently attending). I’ve never done anything like it before, so I’m a bit nervous, but also excited. I’m going to miss teaching, though. While I was in the interview, my Bishop (who is a close family friend– the guy who made my Ravenclaw cake at Wahleecon, actually), decided I needed a priesthood blessing (which, for the unfamilar, is where a man holding the priesthood lays their hands on your head and tells you what God needs you to hear– comfort, healing, and advice), and made me sit right down and have one. It was one of the more amazing blessings I’ve ever had. There was comfort, yes, but there was more advice. He basically told me I need to change nearly everything about my life (pray and read my scriptures more consistently, go to bed earlier and wake up earlier, eat healthier, exercise, and many more things), and that if I did these things, God would bless me in ways I’d never thought possible–including being able to write my thesis. So, I’m trying. It’s slow going, changing your life, but I know it will be worth it. This week I worked on the prayer and scripture study, and also the adjusting of sleeping patterns. Next week I’m adding in exercise. I’ve already been eating better (because of Weight Watchers–I’ve lost nearly 15 pounds so far, yay!), but I’m trying to do better at eating natural foods instead of processed stuff. So, yes. I’m on my way to a new me.

7) Hobbies: I’ve bought a fabulous new book called Victorian Lace Today, and I want to knit pretty much every single project in it. I’m starting easy, though (the very first project in the book, to help me learn how to follow a chart and such), and hope to be able to make one of the shawls as a wedding present for . I even bought some 100% silk yarn from India off eBay the other day, and I can’t wait until it arrives. I’m working on a very simple practice shawl for my sister right now, then I’ll make a more complicated one for myself, and then do Jen’s. I finally went to a new yarn store I heard about back around Thanksgiving (I’ve avoided it until now, because I didn’t have any money and knew I’d be entirely too tempted if I even set foot in it) and– I’m pretty much in love. For your basic Cascade or Plymouth or Lamb’s Pride stuff, it’s not a great store, but if you want anything exotic, three wishes Fiber Arts is the store for you. They’ve got Noro from Japan and Bamboo Silk and gorgeous 100% merino superwash wool, and– even more cool– roving to spin your own yarn. They teach classes in not just knitting and crocheting, but also weaving, spinning, dyeing, and tatting. It makes me want to be independently wealthy. I’ve never seen so many yarns I want to buy. I think that pretty much covers it. I’m going to try to update once a week, now, so you’ll hear from me soon. Great big hugs to everyone on my flist who needs them– and thanks for your love and concern. It’s helped a lot.

Seeing GoF has reawakened my love for HP. Not that it was ever particularly asleep. Anyway, I’ve been re-reading canon. Sometimes I forget how truly delightful canon is. JKR is a friggin’ genius, no matter what some people say. On almost every page is a reminder of why I love this series so much– the whimsy of Dumbledore, the antics of Fred and George, the swottiness of Hermione, the Ron-ness of Ron, the mixture of sweetness and archness that is Ginny, and above all, the adorableness of Harry.

So I’m rereading HBP, and I just read chapter 9, The Half-Blood Prince. And something struck me.

Harry doesn’t really have an unfair advantage, in using Snape’s old book. Rather, everyone else has an unfair disadvantage, with Slughorn.

Now, now, hear me out.

What Harry has is the same advantage he and the rest of the school has been enjoying for the past 14 years– the guidance of Severus Snape. Harry has an advantage, yes, but only because the rest of the students are now at a disadvantage.

You see, even though Harry, in his first year, bought Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger, we never actually see him using any recipes from it. In fact, in OotP, Snape explicity puts the recipe on the chalkboard:

“Today we will be mixing a potion that often comes up at Ordinary Wizarding Level: the Draught of Peace, a potion to calm anxiety and soothe agitation. Be warned: if you are too heavy-handed with the ingredients you will put the drinker into a heavy and sometimes irreversible sleep, so you will need to pay close attention to what you are doing.” On Harry’s left, Hermione sat up a little straighter, her expression one of utmost attention. “The ingredients and method ???” Snape flicked his wand “??? are on the blackboard ???” (they appeared there) “??? you will find everything you need ???” he flicked his wand again “??? in the store cupboard ???” (the door of the said cupboard sprang open) “??? you have an hour and a half???. Start.” (OotP, 232-233, emphasis mine)

On the other hand, Slughorn works exlusively from Advanced Potion Making. The recipe and the method are Libatius Borage’s, not Severus Snape’s. But Harry’s using Snape’s recipe, just like he’s been using for the first 5 years. Hermione’s still doing better than most of the class, but not as well as she used to when Snape was teaching. Harry, on the other hand, is doing much better–not only because he’s using the Half-Blood Prince’s book, because he’s been using Snape’s recipes and methods forever– but because Snape himself isn’t there. It’s a combination of the two.

It’s a testament to what could have been, I think, had Snape been able to set aside his feelings about James Potter and actually bothered to evaluate what Harry was really like. Harry was kept from suceeding by Snape’s teaching methods, not by any lack of ability in Potions. Of course, with Slughorn he would have failed because of inferior instructions. Harry’s success with the combination of an encouraging environment and superior instructions proves that had Harry and Snape been able to have a positive relationship rather than a negative one, great things could have happened.

Anyway. Food for thought.

As an aside, I must say that it was cruel and unusual punishment to play a preview for Colin Firth’s upcoming film with Emma Thompson, Nanny McPhee. It simply served to remind me of what I wouldn’t be getting.

So, lest I become run away with my feelings on the subject, I shall start with the good points. What follows will, of course, be spoilerific.

The Good

It was kind of nice to see the principal actors cast the right age for once. Lizzy looked like she was “not one and twenty” mostly because Keira Knightley is twenty years old. Lydia actually looked 15. The only exceptions to this were Jane (Rosamund Pike is 26), who looked too old, and Georgiana Darcy, who looked too young. Matthew McFayden as Darcy, unfortunately, looked younger than he actually is– Darcy’s supposed to be 28, McFayden is actually 31, but looked about 25.

As an extension of the previous point, some of the casting was truly inspired. Tom Hollander as Mr. Collins had some of the very best scenes in the whole film– I giggled insanely when Mr. Collins tried to get Darcy’s attention, and he was at least a foot shorter than Darcy. He wasn’t given quite enough to do, but what he had he did very well. Judi Dench’s Lady Catherine was very good, but once again she didn’t get quite enough to do. Brenda Blethyn did an admirable job as Mrs. Bennet, and Donald Sutherland’s Mr. Bennet was good, although he wasn’t quite as funny as Mr Bennet should be (of course, this is not his fault). His scene with Elizabeth at the end was truly touching, however.

I really liked the way they handled Charlotte’s marriage to Mr. Collins, although it was necessarily much less detailed than is presented in the book. They were able to show how desperate a situation it could be for a woman to be single and penniless in that period in a relatively short time. The actress who played Charlotte was good, too.

There was one moment, when Lizzy is getting out of the carriage at Pemberley, where Lizzy, struck by just how gorgeous Pemberley is and the absurdity of it all, gives a kind of a nervous giggle. That was a good moment.

There was a cute scene where Bingley was wresting with himself of how to propose to Jane; he bows and says “Miss Bennet. . .” and Darcy bows back and says “Mr. Bingley. . .” Very funny.

The scene where Darcy unexpectedly comes upon Lizzy alone in the Hunsford parsonage was also quite amusing, especially how quickly he decamps.

The scene where Lizzy and Darcy dance was done rather well; the verbal sparring was actually quite good, and the dance allowed them both to converse and to have annoying interruptions. Very realistic. Funny, though– the dance reminded me a lot of Mr. Beveridge’s Maggot, which is what Lizzy and Darcy dance to in P&P2. It wasn’t exact, but it was quite close.

The cinematography was gorgeous, and the scenery lovely.

Okay. Now for a few nitpicks.

The Bad

Bingley has ceased being “intelligent,” and “by no means deficient,” and is instead portrayed as goofy, stupid, and socially– well, if not inept, then at least awkward. He got a bit of a movie!Ron treatment– he even has (badly arranged) red hair. It’s difficult to see what Jane would see in him. The actor did a tolerable job of the part, but it was written badly.

Wickham is barely in the movie, making the impact of his plot on Lizzy minimal. Also, they have Lizzy pressing Wickham to divulge the details of his relationship with Darcy. Highly improper, and it lessens Wickham’s wickedness. (Aside: Wickham himself bore a striking resemblance to Orlando Bloom– not quite as dark, but very similar features.)

Mary, oddly, was quite a bit prettier than either Kitty or Lydia. None of them were in the movie much.

There was quite a good deal of line-swapping, most of which didn’t make much sense. Mary utters Miss Bingley’s line about balls being much more rational if conversation was made the order of the day, and Miss Bingley (not Mr. Bingley) replies that they would be much more rational, but not nearly so much like a ball. Completely misses the point– Miss Bingley says that line to endear herself to Darcy, who she knows dislikes dancing in general. Similarly, Lizzy interrogates Mr. Collins about his pre-written compliments, while Mr. Bennet simply sits there and laughs. Mary says Lizzy’s “What are men to rocks and mountains?” which makes no sense whatsoever. There were some other instances which I can’t remember now, but– it bugged.

It also bugged when they rewrote Austen’s dialogue, which they do quite often. It’s not like P&P2 (they don’t always use Austen’s lines either), where the rewritten dialogue was at least believable. All the added dialogue in this version sounded extremely modern, out of character, and most decidedly NOT Austen. Some of it was merely bad; most of it was truly cringe-worthy.

There were entirely too many statues and paintings of naked people. One or two instances is understandable, but over, and over, and over again? It was obviously intentionally done. I suppose they were trying to add more sexual tension, but it was, to me, unnecessary and inappropriate.

The costuming in general was disappointing. I don’t mind if they decide to move the period back a bit, but please, let’s be consistent about it. If We truly are going for a more Georgian look, then don’t put half the cast into decidedly Regency fashions. And even in the Georgian period, Lizzy. Would. Wear. A. Hat. Outdoors. She almost NEVER wore a hat (maybe they didn’t think Keira Knightley looks good in one?). And almost every one of the characters had bangs, a big no-no period-wise. Lizzy also appears in public with her hair down or half-down, which is another big no-no. For a production that claimed to do lots of research for the period, it sure didn’t look like it.

And in fact, the manners don’t work, either. Bingley pays a visit to Jane’s bedchamber when she’s sick. With the elimination of Mr. and Mrs. Hurst, Miss Bingley no longer has a chaperone at Netherfield. Both of these things would absolutely ruin a girl’s character, whether in 1792 or 1813. In fact, they breach propriety so often, it doesn’t seem all that big of a deal when Mr. Collins approaches Mr. Darcy without an introduction, and you wonder why they’re making such a big deal out of it.

The tone of the movie overall (and the look of it) evoked the 1995 Persuasion. There’s even a scene of the servants at Netherfield bringing out the white covers for the furniture, just as the servants at Kellynch do. Now, that particular adaptation is one of my very favorites. It uses natural lighting, people’s hair sometimes falls out, clothes are sometimes dirty– it shows reality instead of an airbrushed ideal. But– Persuasion, as a book, is much darker than P&P. It has a more autumnal feel. P&P, by contrast, is much more, as Austen herself put it, “light and bright and sparkling.” Imposing a Persuasion-esque feel onto P&P doesn’t work very well.

Mr. Bennet and Lizzy’s relationship simply doesn’t come across. It makes me very sad, and also makes the ending scene between them make very little sense. Why is Mr. Bennet crying? It’s not like we know that Lizzy’s his favorite child or anything.

Lizzy and Darcy’s characters were both barely recognizable, to me. Early in the movie, Darcy came across as shy and socially awkward rather than proud, and there wasn’t nearly enough contrast between his behavior at the beginning of the movie and his behavior at the end. In fact, Lizzy as much as says that he never was actually proud– that it was just her own prejudices that painted him that way. And the way the movie portrays it, that’s exactly what happened. Which lessens the impact of the love story, IMO. Both Lizzy and Darcy must change in order for their story to work; as it’s presented in this movie, the only person who does any changing is Lizzy. Which kind of offends my secret-feminist soul. Matthew McFayden isn’t bad, but he’s not all that good either. Too much brooding and puppy-dog eyes, and indeed, too much importuning. Behaving in general entirely unlike Darcy, and more like Mr. Rochester or Heathcliff. Lizzy herself has been “modernized,” which doesn’t make much sense to me, as she was already quite modern. This Lizzy’s manners don’t just “border on impertinence,” sometimes she’s just downright rude. She throws Darcy’s words about being “tolerable” back in his face, and insults her mother–not behind her back, but to her face– concerning Jane’s ride to Netherfield in the rain. For some reason, Keira Knightley wears a wig– did she cut her hair? refuse to let it be dyed? I don’t know– and it’s quite a bad wig. Sometimes her natural hair pokes out at the back, even. And it has bangs, which is completely non-period. If they’re going to put her in a wig, at least do one that’s historically accurate. She also has terrible posture. The scene at Pemberley is almost completely different. We hear nothing about how good a master Darcy is, and as his behavior is only slightly different than before, you’re left with the impression that Lizzy’s change of heart comes not because Darcy turns out to be a whole lot better than she thought he was even after the letter, but because he’s rich. The impression is only solidified because Lizzy, in trying to explain why she doesn’t particularly want to go to Pemberley beforehand, can only say “he’s so rich.” Wutevre.

Well, that’s enough of the bad. Now for the truly appalling.

The Ugly

WhiteTrash!Bennets. It was oh, so much worse than I was expecting. Not only are the chickens roaming freely in the yard, but a pig is led through the house at one point. A house that is filthy, has a compost heap piled up against it, has paint peeling off the walls and mis-matched furniture in various states of disrepair. The Bennets cannot afford even a tablecloth at meals, apparently. None of them seem to bathe regularly, which wouldn’t bug me so much if it didn’t appear that every other character in the darn show does. Mr. Bennet especially looks like an alcoholic who has allowed his family to go to wrack and ruin. Lizzy doesn’t behave as a “genteel, prettyish sort of girl,” she behaves like someone just out of the barnyard, which, considering the state of Longbourn, isn’t so far off in this film. Ugh. Makes me upset again, just thinking about it.

Miss Bingley wears an appalling white spaghetti-strap dress at the Netherfield Ball. It looks like she forgot to put her dress on, and showed up in her corset and petticoat. Ugh. Oh, and they’ve apparently added the rank of Colonel to the Navy, because Colonel Fitzwilliam wears a dark navy blue coat, complete with epaulettes. He could have passed for Captain Edward Pellew. Yiiiiikes.

Both proposal scenes were terrible. In the first, Darcy just blurts out his explanation of why he separated Bingley from Jane. Which I wouldn’t mind so much, but then he refuses to explain what was up with Wickham, leaving that instead for the letter (which was much shorter). Make up your mind– either he needs to write the letter to explain all his actions, or he can explain them at the moment, leaving out the need for the letter. Makes no sense. Darcy also wasn’t nearly insulting enough to her, which made it seem like she got mad at him for very little reason. Oh, and it takes place in the rain. Gah. In the second, you get such lovely, gag-inducing lines from Darcy as “You have bewitched me, body and soul,” and “I love, love, love you.” But only after Darcy walks through the early-morning mist (for about a minute, to the accompaniment of swelling violins) in quite the state of undress. Lizzy’s still in her nightgown here, also. Then she kisses Darcy’s hand, and they lean in, forehead to forehead, as the sun rises behind them. Gag. They do not kiss, which seems to me to be quite the late acknowledgement to the notions of propriety of the day, and completely unnecessary as, you know, they’re both in their pajamas. Neither of them bother to change clothes or comb their hair before asking Mr. Bennet for his consent, either. Way to make a good impression, Darcy. Of course, Mr. Bennet is so badly dressed himself, I guess it might not matter.

Lizzy does NOT confide in Jane. At all. She doesn’t tell her about Darcy’s proposal. She doesn’t tell her about Wickham. She doesn’t mention meeting Darcy in Derbyshire. She doesn’t tell her anything. I was quite angry about it, actually.

The last, oh, 20 minutes of the movie were way too rushed, and time was compressed so badly that it doesn’t make much sense. Mr. Bingley and Jane get engaged in the morning, Lady Catherine makes her visit in the middle of the night (how did she hear these so-called rumors, if no one even knows about Jane and Bingley yet?), Lizzy and Darcy both spend sleepless nights thinking about each other, and meet in the dawn to become engaged. Less than 24 hours elapse between the two engagements.

The absolute worst part of the whole movie, though, was the super-cheesoid ending. Chamber of Secrets was bad, but I think this one was worse. I understand that the Brits weren’t subjected to this ending. Count your blessings. It shows Lizzy and Darcy at Pemberley– Lizzy is in her usual state of unkempt dress. Darcy’s in shirt and breeches, no stockings. Lizzy’s sitting down next to a standing Darcy, caressing his bare calf. They discuss what they should call each other, as Darcy has been using “my dear” and it reminds Elizabeth of what her father calls her mother when he’s irritated. She suggets “Lizzy” for everyday, “My Pearl” as a term of endearment, and “imperious goddess” for very special occasions. “What about Mrs. Darcy?” he asks. “You can only call me Mrs. Darcy when you are the happiest man on earth, blah blah blah.” At which point he calls her “Mrs. Darcy” about 87 times, kissing a different part of her face every time. I had to put my popcorn down so I wouldn’t throw it at the screen. Ugh, ugh, ugh. Did someone get paid for writing that dialogue?

So, this review has now taken me three days to write. In the course of the writing, I came to a realization. One of my favorite authors is Robin McKinley. A few years ago I picked up Rose Daughter, which is a retelling of “Beauty and the Beast.” Most of you know that McKinley’s first published book was Beauty, which was also a retelling of “Beauty and the Beast.” I adore that book. So I was a bit wary of another version of it, even by the same author. But I read Rose Daughter. It was okay. I enjoyed it well enough, but not enough to buy it and read it over and over again, as I have done with Beauty. I finally decided that had I read Rose Daughter first, I would have liked it a lot more. But since I had already read and adored Beauty, this new retelling seemed less than perfect.

That’s how I feel about this film. I know we should not compare P&P2 and P&P3, that I should take P&P3 on its own merits– but I can’t help it. If there were no P&P2, I would be able to overlook most of the things about this version that bugged me. I probably would have enjoyed it a lot. But since there has already been a film version so nearly perfect as P&P2 is, a version where so many things were done so very right (and there are still some things that bug me about it, make no mistake), it’s hard to take a movie where things which could have, with just a little extra effort, been done right– weren’t. I simply cannot love it in the same way I would have, had P&P2 not existed.

Other people may (and do) disagree with me. I would still recommend that every Austen fan see it, because there are some truly good moments, and it’s quite possible that you will love what I cannot. But I won’t be going to see it again right away, at least not unless someone else pays for me, and I won’t be buying it on the day of its DVD release. If I want a shortened version of P&P to watch, I’ll stick to my Mormon version. It may have also played fast and loose with the story, but at least it stays true to the characters, and true to the spirit of the novel. For me, that’s what’s important, and that’s where I see P&P3 failing.

It could have been much worse. But then again, it also could have been much better.

My friend Tanya and I vented our feelings on the way back by listening to my P&P Audiobook.

Details tomorrow.

But.

I’ve been keeping up with the press on the new adaptation, mostly via Austenblog, but other places as well. Today BYU’s college newspaper reprinted an article that appeared in the Los Angeles Times. It’s mostly positive, but this made me see red.

He also wanted a much earthier “Pride & Prejudice.” This film doesn’t sugarcoat the Bennets’ meager existence ??? pigs and chickens run freely in the unkempt, mud-soaked yard. (The movie, written by Deborah Moggach, was shot in a variety of locations in England.)

“I did a lot of research and discovered that people did live ??? especially with the income the Bennets would have ??? in a close proximately to their rural environment,” Wright said. “I felt it was important [to show that]. Aesthetically, I like mess. I don’t like tidiness.”

I can only assume that “a lot of research” equalled “I Googled it, and ignored anything that I didn’t agree with,” because as far as historical accuracy goes, this is horrible. First of all: meager existence? Mr. Bennet has an income of 2,000 pounds per year. A quick Google search provided me with a few rough estimates for how that translates to today’s money. Cliff’s notes estimates that Mr. Bennet’s income would be roughly $180,000 today. Others estimate more like $150,000, while some think it might be around $200,000. In any case, that does not, to me, equal a “meager” existence. True, Darcy’s 10,000 pounds (anywhere from $700,000 to $1,000,000 per year) is such that Mr. Bennet’s fortune pales in comparison, but 2,000 pounds a year does not a pauper equal. Even a much smaller income, such as the 500 pounds a year the Dashwood women are left with, is enough to rent a comfortable cottage and employ at least two servants, one of whom was a man and therefore subject to a luxury tax. 400 pounds per year is considered sufficent to marry on, and to still be considered a member of the gentry. The Bennet girls are “penniless” not because their father has an insufficient income, but because they will inherit no more than 1,000 pounds each. It is their dowry, not their father’s income, which is the problem when it comes to matrimony.

Second, it is very true that most of Mr. Bennet’s income came from rents paid to him from his estate, and from the home farm. His horses are often wanted in the farm, and are therefore unavailable for the carriage. It may be that the farm was not as far away from the house as we generally see, as in P&P2. However. Mr. Bennet may be a lot of things, but a bad manager of his estates he most certainly is not. Mrs. Bennet may be a lot of things, but she prides herself on the superiority of her housekeeping every bit as much as the beauty of her daughters. Longbourn would be neither unkempt not untidy. Chickens and pigs would not be allowed free reign of the house. The idea is unthinkable.

It’s things like these that make me fear for this adaptation. Add in the badly-made costumes, the lack of wearing bonnets in public (sorry, but no. no.), and the fact that the most frequently applied adjective to the new adaptation is “Bronteish”– gah. My resolve to wait and see becomes weaker by the minute.

*turns lovingly to shiny new Oxford Illustrated Austen volumes*

Also: Elizabeth Bennet’s nickname is spelled “Lizzy,” not “Lizzie.” Stop. Spelling. It. Wrong. It’s almost as bad as calling our beloved Jane “Miss Austin.”